An Affirmative Language Tool.
English version
. All our languages have powerful words
in more ways than perhaps some may have routinely considered. Many years ago,
long before we had “languages” that became verbally elaborate and sometimes even
complex, people still communicated, of course. However, as populations grew or
expanded and groups separated to become tribes and even nations of their own,
"language" continued to evolve and develop.
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Now, in our current era, we have many
distinctly different languages. The good news is, we are able to at least master
our own native tongue or language. As with any language, many strains and
influences have entered in. Some combinations are specific such as "one and one
is two." And some combinations are potentially more open to conjecture or a
variety of meanings or understandings.
.
Many people do admit that certain ‘words’
are not always required for optimum communication. Still others sometimes use
“softer” words. Words with a weaker or even adverse meaning when used in casual
context. The 7 words listed above is a brief for a basic tool set
and how they may be replaced or substituted in support of a more affirmative or more
effective communication style.
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The key is to listen to what we are saying
first. When we hear one of the selected words we have elected to be aware of in
our own talk and communication, we can immediately re-state the message or
thought with a more affirmative combination. Immediate correction before
continuing works best to eliminate any questionable language use habits that
we decide are worth changing.
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We all know that it is not necessary to say;
“I can’t.” There are probably millions of talks or writings on the challenges of
this particular word use. At minimum, using it after the first person pronoun,
"I" is not the ideal and thus need not be used accordingly. The alternative is
simply to focus on and state what we, or others, can do. Granted, it may be a
truth to say for some; “I can’t write you a check for one million dollars (that
will clear).” Or, we may be able to say; “Hey, I can’t go through that brick
wall,” and etc. No problem. These are certainly potential or assumed truths as
noted. However, we can re-phrase or state; "A check written from
my bank account for one million dollars will not clear at this time."
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The gift is; As we re-phrase with what we
can do, or what we truly mean without a doubt, we begin to reduce the possible
rote usage of the conservative or limiting word combinations. Plus, we are more
inclined to focus on what we, as well as what others can do.
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As
we eliminate the selected words as illustrated in the reminder graphic below, we
not only begin to verbally communicate more affirmatively, we also commence a
more productive internal communication process.
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Another gift of committing to
the most affirmative or thought specific language combinations possible is; We
reduce the risk, through rote or otherwise, of using one of the 7 words noted in
a questionable fashion when communicating with ourselves as well as with others. There may
also be some who might respect our authority or our position in life and
potentially believe in error the simple or even the complex message that we are
sincerely intending.
1. if
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“If I only had a million dollars. If I were better looking. If I had a better
education. If I were . . . If I had of . . . If only I hadn’t,” and etc.
.
“When I grow up. When I or when we achieve . . . When I get . . . When I
have saved "x" towards . . .” The use of ‘when’ instead of ‘if,’ for the
most part, better incorporates the future, and some possibility, as well.
‘As’ can work equally well. “As I," or "As we . . .”
"As you . . ."
2.
wish
.
“I wish I was . . . I
wish I had . . . I
wish I hadn’t . . . I wish you would . . . I wish I could . .
. I wish it was . . .” etc.
.
“I am. I have already saved, learned, done, looked for or completed thus
far. . . .” all towards a reality, a situation, or a circumstance that is
possible.” “I can embrace the opportunity, desire or commitment, etc. to do what
it takes . . .”
“I am effectively making progress towards . . .”
3. want
. “I want. I want to . . . I want you to . . . all I ever wanted was . . .”
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The word ‘want’ is perhaps not as readily obvious as some or all of the
other 6 words are. Here is one reason why; As we cease from wanting we are
closer to seeing what we already have and can continue to work towards
acquiring what we would like to embrace or still accomplish. In reality, we
rarely want for anything. Rather, there are things we would like. Like to do,
like to have, like to achieve, like to be or like to see.
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While we remain in ‘want’ we potentially are admitting that we do not
have, or even worse, that we do not truly perceive we have the opportunity to
have. As children, we might have wanted a cookie out of cycle, such as just
before supper, or wanted to go outside when we were not allowed, or wanted to
stay out late when that was not an approved time. No problem. Though we “wanted”
the odds are, it was fruitless to 'want', for the most part, back then.
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As a mature person, we need not simply just ‘want,’ we only need to
start, to do, to go, or to work towards, to become what we truly would
ultimately like to become. Plus, some others may potentially be taxed by our
‘want’ as it may relate to them or what they may have that we do not yet have.
There may be certain challenges associated with using the word ‘want,’ such as; “I want more. "I want you to start or I want
this, or I want that.” vs. "I have decided to fairly and honestly work towards acquiring
this or that.." etc. "I want a drink of water." vs. I would like a drink of
water." Or even; "May I have a drink of water?"
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As we consciously work around using the word ‘want,’ we can avoid
alarming any preconceived attitudes that may exist with others regarding their
understanding of ‘want.’ As we work to get, or to achieve, and see what we
really can or must do, we then can better see that we actually have, with only a
decision, a commitment, a positive action, a supporting task, or a given time
factor prior to the actual realization of what we would like to have, to do, to
see or like to be. And ‘time’ can be shortened when working towards a goal.
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“I would like to have, to do, to see, to be,” and etc. Substituting
‘like’ can help to avoid the covetousness aspect, too. Like it? Go and get it.
You’ve done it successfully so many times already. Simply continue. Do the good
required? Yes. “What would you like to do, to be, to see, to achieve, to
experience or to have?" There is no real need to want. The need is only to do.
Again, by stating personally what is the best decision or action for ourselves,
we hear the best, as well. A genuine ‘desire’ also has real power in support of
our own optimum personal affirmations.
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‘Desire’ can also be an affirmative substitution for 'want.' By
definition, a genuine 'desire' indicates that action is appropriate, perhaps
pending and certainly still possible. We need not always substitute the actual
word, 'desire,' verbally. ‘Like’ can work equally well, also. ‘Desire’ is an
internal state, first. As our desire becomes genuine, we then only need to work
with the ever always available options for acquisition or achievement.
Ref:
Psalm 23:1
4. can’t
. For the most part, there is no need to dwell on the contraction of 'can not,' here. Most people respect it for the contraction it is. Many have achieved incredible results by earnestly personally monitoring they did not abuse or misuse "can't". Certainly "can't" is not necessary after the first person pronoun, ‘I.’ And who are we to say; “You can’t!” to someone else?
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Quality alternatives
can include; “That may not be or is not the best way, solution, or idea." or;
"That is not allowed, or allowed at this time,” etc. There are many people who
have been raised hearing the contraction of can not. We do not need to continue
that cycle for them or ourselves with its inherent implication. As we work to
focus on what can be done, achieved, believed, understood, and the like, we need
not speak anything less. To ourselves or to others.
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"What can you do?" You may not care to do certain things and those are the
things you can personally decide accordingly, of course. Certainly, children
love to hear and know what they can do. Properly presented, the possible is
always so much more attractive or appealing, anyway. Teaching the reason why a
child should not play in the street can remain the ultimate goal. Along the way,
when appropriate, the ‘why’ can wait. “The ‘boundary’ should not be breached.”
“Breach it and there will be consequences.” Corporal or otherwise. As a child’s
intellect evolves favorably through love, patient repetition and certainly
caring guidance, the possible or ideal alternative becomes the message and
training of choice.
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By eliminating the casual use of the negative contraction "can't," we
can better focus on and share what truly can be done, believed, understood or
learned that is good. “What can you do that is good or right, or approved?”
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“I can't find it." vs. " I haven't found it, yet." "I can't understand."
vs. "I have yet to understand." The first person or with (towards) others,
'can't' can have an eternal presence to it. On the other hand, the 'not yet' of
‘can’ keeps many, and usually all options open. For resolution, achievement,
understanding and beyond.
5.
try
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This word is probably already now obvious. Some may casually use ‘try’
and then, when questioned, reply with something like; “Well, you know what I
mean.,” or defend why they used it. And that can be ok for a time.
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Let’s say you are about to hire a crew of 3 or 4 persons to do a
particular job the following day. You have more than enough candidates, so you
ask each one; “We will need to start promptly at 6:00 AM, can you be on time?”
Or; “We will all need to meet at such and such a location, can you get there
ok?” Or; “Can you _______ ?” and you hear the
noticeable "try" in the replies.
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This is merely a generalization here. In most cases, we can sense
the obvious. The gift is; As we effectively eliminate any uncertain usages, we
automatically communicate more effectively. Plus, when we communicate in the
affirmative with ourselves, we reduce the risk of diluting what we truly believe
or are honestly able to say and thus still do, ourselves.
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As we master more affirmative language combinations, we can more readily
hear when less than affirmative usages are being spoken or transmitted to us,
too. “I will, or, I won’t.” is obviously or potentially as good as a yes or a
no.
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"The point I am trying to make is . . ." vs. "The point I am making is .
. ."
6. think
. “I think it will work. I think this is ok. I think the supplies are in the facility. I think I turned off the stove before I left. I think we have introduced a good piece of legislation. I think I can.”
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What we know is what we can say. Our best language usage helps others act
or reply more effectively, as well. An awareness of our language usage helps us
to be more conscious of just what we are saying or committing to. It helps us
also to better hear what others may or may not be saying to us as they are speaking or
communicating to or with us.
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What you know or believe at a time is important. Share that. Worst case,
you will get some constructive feedback and then you will really know, or know
better ‘next time.’
7. but
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“I love you, but. . . Oh, that was a great meal, but. . . I’m going to take that under
advisement, but. . .” The critical element is not the actual word
'but,' rather, it is the comma that must precede it and what the comma ( , ) can
open up or allow to follow. The value of saying what we truly mean is the first
step in truly meaning what we say.
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Over the eons, almost every tongue and language has been diluted
somewhat. No problem. We need not settle for it in our own usage. We have the
option to learn to overcome any barriers that our extended native language might
potentially contain. As we progress with our optimum usage, we can more
favorable influence others as well. In both their usage to us, as well as in
their usage with others and themselves.
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Good language does rub off. In fact, that is how we got ours, for better
or for worse. The bonus gift is in how we will effectively communicate and
influence children, no matter how old they are. “I love you.” Period. Replace
the comma at the end of a confirming or factual statement with a period. Period.
Then carry on with your next affirmation.
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You
can embrace the opportunity to begin to personally re-phrase each time you hear
yourself using one of these seven words casually. The key to developing the
optimum skill is to self-correct by re-stating with the substitute word or words
as noted in the 7 word suggested alternative list. The ideal is to do this at once before
conversing
further. After a while our / your affirmations will become automatic.
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There is no real need to reveal to others
what you may now be personally working on. Simply do it. Self-correct and
re-state each time you hear yourself. As it all becomes a verbal habit, it will
follow as an internal habit. In fact, it really starts internally, anyway.
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As you notice, understand and / or discern
the positive results possible, you can use any one of the words again. The good
news will be; You will have a better discernment with each of the words as well
as any others that you choose to use. A casual or rote usage of the noted "7"
‘words’ will continue to diminish. And your personal or inner hearing as well as your
verbal or even written communication to and with others will be significantly more
affirmative..
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For couples, the ideal is to agree to work
together to enhance each other's optimum language usage skills. A simple smile
can alert the partner and enhance the mutually agreed upon desired change. For
groups or families agreeing, a sound can be used each time one or more of the
words are heard by any member of the cooperating group or team. The sound of
perhaps even a bell or
perhaps the simple snap of the fingers can become the alert to take the
immediate opportunity to re-phrase what was said and heard. At home, the bell
can be a single (and loving) tap of a spoon against a drinking glass or cup
during the agreed upon time or as may be appropriate or agreed upon .
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Affirmative
communication, communication with others, or with yourself, is of intrinsic importance. Upping the volume is not always necessary. Repetition, on the other
hand, is consistently valuable. Repetition, it has been said, is the most
powerful educational process or "tool" in the universe. Thus, as we "listen" to both our own
communication as well as to other's communication, we can continue to discern
the essence of all we or others are actually saying or sharing. And with our
most affirmative communication skills, our
Prayers also
become more specific when we communicate to the Divine..
